Friday, March 09, 2007

Why I Am a Ninja, Part XXVI

If anything sums up being a Ninja, it's this story from this morning, as told by Ninja stalwart, Pizza Club president and all around complete idiot Michael Winfield.

(Note: My wife and I had an appointment with her OB for a baby check-up this morning. Plus, I sort of have to deal with the media for my job here in LA, so I was a little hesitant to be directly tied to all of this. Also, I'm a giant pussy.)

Take it away, Mr. Winfield...

"Every once and a while the World Adult Kickball Association teams up with a local new station to promote themselves. That's cool. Well, this morning there was another "event" at the Ferrero Soccer Field in Griffith Park. The Awesome Helicopter Ninjas were not going to let this pass without being involved.

Do we play nicely and smile for the cameras? Um, no, we're the Ninjas. Were here to ruin kickball.

Scott and I ditched work for a couple of hours and drove out there. We parked about a quarter mile away from the activities at the park. When we got there, about 8:45, they were just milling about and setting up. Orion and Katie (WAKA reps) were there along with players from various divisions. But there was no sign of the KTLA news truck. We stealthily crept along the side. We were both in our shirts and had accompanying masks. Scott went with the t-shirt ninja type of mask and I had my Ninja Luchador mask I got on Olivera St. for $15. Then we waited.

And waited. They set up the field and Scott climbed a tree to get a better view, taking into account the "if you can see them, they can see you, but not if you're hidden in a tree". Scott also wanted to pee out of the tree, but he didn't have to go.

Finally, we see the news truck pull up, and the antenna extends like a mighty boner to the sky. We start prepping.

"But how did you know when to run out there", you ask. "Shut your face", I say. We had some ninjas on television duty. Most notably: Cameron, Scott P. and Jack. Every few minutes there were updates from our agents in their command centers. And finally, Gail went up to kick, cameras were in place. And the attack was on.

Scott, with his confetti gun (no smoke bombs this time people, really, we looked ENOUGH like terrorists) and I charged the field screaming and laughing. I start to round the bases. Scott runs into the middle of the field and fires off the gun. Wind takes hold and the confetti soars. Everyone takes this with good humor and they are laughing, though they are not quite as surprised by this antic as maybe they would have been in the past.

Scott and I bolt off the field. I'm running off, Jacob from Smurfageddon puts his leg out to fake trip me. Unfortunately, I was running at top speed and though I avoided his leg, ended up tripping over myself and ate turf, hard. (That's what she said) I picked myself up and scampered off. I was winded, needing to throw up, feverish, scraped up, dirty, had mud in my teeth and up my nose and I may have been slightly concussed. I was seeing white all over the place, like the saturation was turned way up.

Scott and I sat there panting and composing ourselves, more so for me. We eventually walked back to the cars where I swigged old water (thank you Scott) and tried to get my head straight. Then we both went to work. Being an Awesome Helicopter Ninja is pretty much the best thing a person can do."

EDIT: Now with video links - click on the "Gayle Anderson" button on the left.

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