A 6-1 victory over the Valley Girls in the Studio Division championship game last night gives us three Division titles in four seasons (with an appearance in the title game in the fourth season). Three titles in four seasons officially makes you a dynasty. One more title and we're the Steelers in the 1970s or the 49ers of the 1980s.
More details to come from the game, but I'll just say that it was quite possibly the best game we've ever played as a team. Sofa King Good is lucky they forfeited, because I'm very, very confident that with the way we were playing, they would have had no chance against us last night.
Ironically, this was far and away our most difficult and tumultuous season, yet it was the easiest championship game victory out of our three so far.
Again, more details later, and I'm sure teammates will chime in to fill in some details. But, as I said to the team last night after the game, I don't know if this was the best Ninjas team we've had, but I know for a fact that no other team has ever shown as much heart and resilience as this team has. Once again, I'm proud to be a Ninja.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
"Championship Game" Tonight
Win, and we are the champions of the Studio Division for the third time in four seasons. Lose, and we're Redrum - out in the semifinals. This is what happens when one of the two finalists decides to take their ball and go home. I know the situation wasn't made ideal, but at some point you need to make a decision, and I think it's pretty much a no-brainer to play for a championship rather than in a regular-season game, even if it is against a team that broke off from yours. Especially when you have a history in other Divisions of kicking ass in the regular season and choking in the playoffs.
Until proven otherwise, I'm going to assume that Sofa King Good were going to chomp the bit tonight anyway, so whether or not they showed up to play is irrelevant.
As for the game tonight: The Valley Girls are very good. They are extremely fast, kick well, and field their positions. We know their strengths and weaknesses at this point, but it will take a total team effort to get the victory.
In other words: we are the underdogs again, which puts me in a very good frame of mind going into tonight.
Until proven otherwise, I'm going to assume that Sofa King Good were going to chomp the bit tonight anyway, so whether or not they showed up to play is irrelevant.
As for the game tonight: The Valley Girls are very good. They are extremely fast, kick well, and field their positions. We know their strengths and weaknesses at this point, but it will take a total team effort to get the victory.
In other words: we are the underdogs again, which puts me in a very good frame of mind going into tonight.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Retraction
Remember how I JUST posted about how we are playing the Valley Girls in the Semi-Finals and THEN the winner was goign to play in the Championship against Sofa King Good?
Yeah, well Sofa King Good has forfeited the game, so they can play their opening Hollywood game against a splinter team.
More to come as the story develops...
Yeah, well Sofa King Good has forfeited the game, so they can play their opening Hollywood game against a splinter team.
More to come as the story develops...
Coming Up: Semi-Final vs.Valley Girls & Studio Division vs. Sofa King Good
Next Monday is going to be a doozy.
First we play the Valley Girls. A team that used to be bitter rivals (and they are of sorts) but over the last few seasons I've become pretty good friends with a lot of them. It has become a friendly rivalry. The Awesome Helicopter Ninjas at one point wanted to try a t-shirt swap with their team for the last game of the season, but it never came to be.
That doesn't mean I don't want to kick their ass.
Their team is good. Athletic, passionate. High spirited. They finished first in their conference, and with good reason. They kick and field really well. When I was making the schedule for the season, I had them pegged at #1 across the board. I scheduled their cross conference game with Sofa King Good because I knew that would be a great game. We haven't played them since the beginning of Fall '06. I am frigg'n jazzed out of my mind to play them.
But there is something bigger going on.
And as much as I want to beat the asses of the Valley Girls. I want the Studio Division as a whole to beat the asses of Sofa King Good. The winner of our game against the VG's plays SKG.
There is a buzzing around the division. A unified buzzing that wants either of our teams to really take it to them. Sofa King Good is a team that has played in the Hollywood Division and came over to play in Studio while Hollywood was in an off season. Well, they went 8-0 in the regular season and are fierce. But they have made some enemies along the way. They have an aggressive play style and have a pre-disposition for arguing calls.
Like last Monday night when they played Redrum in the Semi-Final. The game I saw them play. I saw them argue judgment calls at first base and there was the April's Mom incident where their team captain, Max Lucas, was rounding 2nd base and ran over April's Mom. He argued that she was in the base path and had a fit of sorts that he wasn't awarded 3rd base for interference. I'm staying out of the debate. But lets just say that is cemented their status as a-holes of the division.
Like I said. Doozy.
First we play the Valley Girls. A team that used to be bitter rivals (and they are of sorts) but over the last few seasons I've become pretty good friends with a lot of them. It has become a friendly rivalry. The Awesome Helicopter Ninjas at one point wanted to try a t-shirt swap with their team for the last game of the season, but it never came to be.
That doesn't mean I don't want to kick their ass.
Their team is good. Athletic, passionate. High spirited. They finished first in their conference, and with good reason. They kick and field really well. When I was making the schedule for the season, I had them pegged at #1 across the board. I scheduled their cross conference game with Sofa King Good because I knew that would be a great game. We haven't played them since the beginning of Fall '06. I am frigg'n jazzed out of my mind to play them.
But there is something bigger going on.
And as much as I want to beat the asses of the Valley Girls. I want the Studio Division as a whole to beat the asses of Sofa King Good. The winner of our game against the VG's plays SKG.
There is a buzzing around the division. A unified buzzing that wants either of our teams to really take it to them. Sofa King Good is a team that has played in the Hollywood Division and came over to play in Studio while Hollywood was in an off season. Well, they went 8-0 in the regular season and are fierce. But they have made some enemies along the way. They have an aggressive play style and have a pre-disposition for arguing calls.
Like last Monday night when they played Redrum in the Semi-Final. The game I saw them play. I saw them argue judgment calls at first base and there was the April's Mom incident where their team captain, Max Lucas, was rounding 2nd base and ran over April's Mom. He argued that she was in the base path and had a fit of sorts that he wasn't awarded 3rd base for interference. I'm staying out of the debate. But lets just say that is cemented their status as a-holes of the division.
Like I said. Doozy.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Quarter Final Game: vs. Smurfageddon
This is long (that'swhatshesaid)
Weird. Fucking. Night.
I don't know how else to describe it. The mood of the game was off from the get go. It was windy and warm and twilightly and muggy and just...off. Its the kind of air that looms over you on nights where big things happen. Like presidential elections. You're there and you can't do anything about it, but you know something big is going on. I don't know how to properly describe it.
Going into the game I was nervous. Kelly can attest to this. We got to the field early and I just couldn't settle. We went out and bought some Crayolla sidewalk chalk paint so I could write nasty stuff about the Smurfs on the pavement, but I just wasn't in the mood.
Setup:
- The wind was blowing from home plate to the outfield, causing every kick to carry and hang in the air. Adam J. was walking by home plate in his flip-flops (thongs) and kicked a random ball and it went over into left field, with no effort.
- The sun was setting and was shining into the eyes of the outfielders.
- Mandy bought a GORGEOUS sign for us. A HUGE banner that was just beautiful.
- Everyone bought water or Gatorade and stayed hydrated. The other team was lacking.
The game got off to a really rocky start, in spite of Scott's best efforts to slow down the game. Oh, before I get into THAT, we had a big issue with umping in the division that night. (note: I just deleted a major rant that I'll save for another time). Anyway, things got off to a late start. By the time the game started, it was close to 7:30ish.
In the first inning a few insane things happened. Well, Smurfageddon did what we all knew they were going to do, which was bunt, bunt, bunt kick. Unfortunately, it was the kick part that killed us. For whatever reason, in the first inning Scott was off his game. Its a rare thing to see Scott miss play a ball. Sure, he's dropped really tough catches. But he always has the sense to know the field and know where to get the ball to next. But the Smurfs sent two balls his way. The first got caught by the wind and carried a few feet above his head. By the time he brought the ball in, they had scored three runs. A few minutes later, it happened again. This time the ball dropped just short of his play, and somehow got past him. Another two scored. They finished up with some more bunting and small plays in the infield, and we were down by five going into the bottom of the first.
Morale was low. But we began to threaten in the bottom of the first, though we didn't score. Adam J and Jack both got out. Julie kicked a little grounder that was played poorly by the Smurfs, and as the ball sailed into foul territory along the fence, she RAN to 2nd then to 3rd. She pulled a triple out of her ass and it was all due to hustle and listening to her teammates. It was awesome. Unfortunately, she was stranded at third. Or was she? I remember she ran home, against my base coaching, but I don't know if the score counted.
Top of 2, we held them to no runs.
Bottom 2, everything broke loose. We loaded up the bases and Gari got up to kick. He kicked a huge fly ball to right center, and it was not only went over the head of the girl, but was misplayed by the outfielder. He cleared the bases and got a grand slam home run! This brought us within one, and everything changed from that point.
We started playing better on the field. Offense heated up a bit. In the bottom of the third, Scott got on board with two outs on a double. I dinked in a shot down the third base line and got on board. Then Richard came up to kick. He booted a line drive beauty between me running to 2nd and into right field. As it whizzed past me I shouted "Whoopsie Daisy" as I headed to third. Scott rounded third and slid into home, and though his hand hit the plate a beat before he was tagged with the ball, he was called out. Slight disappointment on his side, to say the least. I gotta say though, some of the outfielders on the Smurfs have guns. Their throws from the outfield in, were dead on, and fast.
Both the Smurfs and Ninjas brought in a run each going into the bottom of the fifth, with the score at 6 to 5. We were down, but we were up to kick. Somehow, we loaded the bases again, with no outs. With being down by two, all Sam (who was kicking) had to do was boot the ball to the outfield, anywhere, and we would have picked up at least one. Then we could have gotten another one.
This however, is what happened:
Sam was kicking, and kicked a foul ball here and there, took a couple of strikes. He was really feeling out the pitcher, waiting for the perfect pitch. He then kicked really poorly, a rolling ball through foul territory. BUT it rolled through the ambiguous gray zone (long story) into fair territory. Before he or the Smurfs realized what was happening, Sam was running to first and our players were running to the plate. A throw was made, for some reason, AT Sam and to first base. But the ball went wide and the Smurfs instead of playing the ball, stopped. They stopped (including Orion) to come argue the call. Two of our players made it across the plate. The game was over. Just like that.
Appropriate ending for a weird night.
Weird. Fucking. Night.
I don't know how else to describe it. The mood of the game was off from the get go. It was windy and warm and twilightly and muggy and just...off. Its the kind of air that looms over you on nights where big things happen. Like presidential elections. You're there and you can't do anything about it, but you know something big is going on. I don't know how to properly describe it.
Going into the game I was nervous. Kelly can attest to this. We got to the field early and I just couldn't settle. We went out and bought some Crayolla sidewalk chalk paint so I could write nasty stuff about the Smurfs on the pavement, but I just wasn't in the mood.
Setup:
- The wind was blowing from home plate to the outfield, causing every kick to carry and hang in the air. Adam J. was walking by home plate in his flip-flops (thongs) and kicked a random ball and it went over into left field, with no effort.
- The sun was setting and was shining into the eyes of the outfielders.
- Mandy bought a GORGEOUS sign for us. A HUGE banner that was just beautiful.
- Everyone bought water or Gatorade and stayed hydrated. The other team was lacking.
The game got off to a really rocky start, in spite of Scott's best efforts to slow down the game. Oh, before I get into THAT, we had a big issue with umping in the division that night. (note: I just deleted a major rant that I'll save for another time). Anyway, things got off to a late start. By the time the game started, it was close to 7:30ish.
In the first inning a few insane things happened. Well, Smurfageddon did what we all knew they were going to do, which was bunt, bunt, bunt kick. Unfortunately, it was the kick part that killed us. For whatever reason, in the first inning Scott was off his game. Its a rare thing to see Scott miss play a ball. Sure, he's dropped really tough catches. But he always has the sense to know the field and know where to get the ball to next. But the Smurfs sent two balls his way. The first got caught by the wind and carried a few feet above his head. By the time he brought the ball in, they had scored three runs. A few minutes later, it happened again. This time the ball dropped just short of his play, and somehow got past him. Another two scored. They finished up with some more bunting and small plays in the infield, and we were down by five going into the bottom of the first.
Morale was low. But we began to threaten in the bottom of the first, though we didn't score. Adam J and Jack both got out. Julie kicked a little grounder that was played poorly by the Smurfs, and as the ball sailed into foul territory along the fence, she RAN to 2nd then to 3rd. She pulled a triple out of her ass and it was all due to hustle and listening to her teammates. It was awesome. Unfortunately, she was stranded at third. Or was she? I remember she ran home, against my base coaching, but I don't know if the score counted.
Top of 2, we held them to no runs.
Bottom 2, everything broke loose. We loaded up the bases and Gari got up to kick. He kicked a huge fly ball to right center, and it was not only went over the head of the girl, but was misplayed by the outfielder. He cleared the bases and got a grand slam home run! This brought us within one, and everything changed from that point.
We started playing better on the field. Offense heated up a bit. In the bottom of the third, Scott got on board with two outs on a double. I dinked in a shot down the third base line and got on board. Then Richard came up to kick. He booted a line drive beauty between me running to 2nd and into right field. As it whizzed past me I shouted "Whoopsie Daisy" as I headed to third. Scott rounded third and slid into home, and though his hand hit the plate a beat before he was tagged with the ball, he was called out. Slight disappointment on his side, to say the least. I gotta say though, some of the outfielders on the Smurfs have guns. Their throws from the outfield in, were dead on, and fast.
Both the Smurfs and Ninjas brought in a run each going into the bottom of the fifth, with the score at 6 to 5. We were down, but we were up to kick. Somehow, we loaded the bases again, with no outs. With being down by two, all Sam (who was kicking) had to do was boot the ball to the outfield, anywhere, and we would have picked up at least one. Then we could have gotten another one.
This however, is what happened:
Sam was kicking, and kicked a foul ball here and there, took a couple of strikes. He was really feeling out the pitcher, waiting for the perfect pitch. He then kicked really poorly, a rolling ball through foul territory. BUT it rolled through the ambiguous gray zone (long story) into fair territory. Before he or the Smurfs realized what was happening, Sam was running to first and our players were running to the plate. A throw was made, for some reason, AT Sam and to first base. But the ball went wide and the Smurfs instead of playing the ball, stopped. They stopped (including Orion) to come argue the call. Two of our players made it across the plate. The game was over. Just like that.
Appropriate ending for a weird night.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Ninjas Injury Report, 5/1/07
Cameron Davis - Severe buttocks injury (recurring injury aggravated while attempting to make a diving catch.
STATUS - QUESTIONABLE
Richard Manfredi - Cut middle finger on right hand (sliced by Tyler Foster's talon-like nails in pregame warm-ups)
STATUS - PROBABLE TO BE WHINING ABOUT IT ALL WEEK
Angela Debibi - Cut to hand (sustained in the field)
STATUS - A LOT TOUGHER THAN RICHARD
Scott Jones - Bruised groin (injured while "teabagging" Joe McClendon
STATUS - GROSS
Scott Putman - Injured right foot (kicked ball so hard during game that it exploded - pieces of the ball embedded in his big toe)
STATUS - LIKELY TO DO THE SAME THING NEXT WEEK
Michael Winfield - Had a scratch in his throat (stayed out in the cold too long)
STATUS - DAY-TO-DAY, NEXT WEEK'S AVAILABILITY BASED ON HIM DRINKING PLENTY OF FLUIDS, EATING LOTS OF SOUP AND GETTING BACK RUBS FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND
STATUS - QUESTIONABLE
Richard Manfredi - Cut middle finger on right hand (sliced by Tyler Foster's talon-like nails in pregame warm-ups)
STATUS - PROBABLE TO BE WHINING ABOUT IT ALL WEEK
Angela Debibi - Cut to hand (sustained in the field)
STATUS - A LOT TOUGHER THAN RICHARD
Scott Jones - Bruised groin (injured while "teabagging" Joe McClendon
STATUS - GROSS
Scott Putman - Injured right foot (kicked ball so hard during game that it exploded - pieces of the ball embedded in his big toe)
STATUS - LIKELY TO DO THE SAME THING NEXT WEEK
Michael Winfield - Had a scratch in his throat (stayed out in the cold too long)
STATUS - DAY-TO-DAY, NEXT WEEK'S AVAILABILITY BASED ON HIM DRINKING PLENTY OF FLUIDS, EATING LOTS OF SOUP AND GETTING BACK RUBS FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND
Next week
Both the quarterfinals and semifinals are next week. The remaining eight teams play the early (7:15 p.m.) game and the winners advance to the semifinals right after. Two games of kickball for the fans for one low price - free!
Our quarterfinal game is a rematch of our regular season ending game against Smurfageddon. As you'll recall, we lost 6-5 on a force out at second with the bases loaded on a sharply kicked ball to the outfield by yours truly. Needless to say, I really, really want to win this game, and not just for the revenge factor. Smurfageddon are like the Young Life or Glee Club of the league - way too much enthusiasm wrapped up in a wholy dorky package.
They have "Smurf names" on the back of their shirts ("Clumsy", "Handy", "Smurfette", etc.). They go on the message boards and talk about "Smurfing" their opponents. They sing the Smurf theme ("Tra la, la la la la, la la la, la la!") at the bar AT FULL VOLUME after every game when doing a victory toast. They happy, grinning, and thoroughly nice people - generally the poster children for the "social activity" that WAKA is always preaching.
And for all of these reasons, I want to crush them. Badly. I'm talking 15 to 20 runs badly. We could lose to Redrum for 10 games in a row, and that would be the trade-off for winning this game next week.
Assuming we win, we'll take on the winner of the Valley Girls/Uno Mas tilt in the semifinals immediately following. Either opponent is tough, but beatable.
And fans should expect some pre-game excitement before the opening game - Scott J. has some big, explosive things in store. If you've never been to a Ninjas game before, or haven't been in a while, this would be the perfect game to make (HINT MOTHERHUMPING HINT).
Our quarterfinal game is a rematch of our regular season ending game against Smurfageddon. As you'll recall, we lost 6-5 on a force out at second with the bases loaded on a sharply kicked ball to the outfield by yours truly. Needless to say, I really, really want to win this game, and not just for the revenge factor. Smurfageddon are like the Young Life or Glee Club of the league - way too much enthusiasm wrapped up in a wholy dorky package.
They have "Smurf names" on the back of their shirts ("Clumsy", "Handy", "Smurfette", etc.). They go on the message boards and talk about "Smurfing" their opponents. They sing the Smurf theme ("Tra la, la la la la, la la la, la la!") at the bar AT FULL VOLUME after every game when doing a victory toast. They happy, grinning, and thoroughly nice people - generally the poster children for the "social activity" that WAKA is always preaching.
And for all of these reasons, I want to crush them. Badly. I'm talking 15 to 20 runs badly. We could lose to Redrum for 10 games in a row, and that would be the trade-off for winning this game next week.
Assuming we win, we'll take on the winner of the Valley Girls/Uno Mas tilt in the semifinals immediately following. Either opponent is tough, but beatable.
And fans should expect some pre-game excitement before the opening game - Scott J. has some big, explosive things in store. If you've never been to a Ninjas game before, or haven't been in a while, this would be the perfect game to make (HINT MOTHERHUMPING HINT).
Opening Round playoff results
It takes different teams a different length of time to “click" and finally start playing up to their level of potential. Some teams hit thal level from the opening gates, while other teams need to ramp up to their peak level. And some teams never do reach that point, for any number of reasons.
I don’t want to use last night as an indication, because it was just one game, but…maybe I’m wrong, about my theory and about our team. Because I’ll be damned if we didn’t go out against a pretty good team (Mean Girls and Boys Next Door) and lay the hammer to them from the opening pitch on. The final score was 12-4, and it really could have been even more lopsided.
Without question, it was our best overall game of the season. Everyone, and I mean everyone, contributed. I believe we either scored in four of the five innings or in all five (Scott?) which means that the entire line-up was doing good things. And not just big kicks, but kicks that got people on base and moved runners over. All the little things that championship teams do but we had forgotten for most of the season.
I have to give a personal shout out to Julie P., who had to be arm-twisted by her brother Scott P. and her good friend Michael into playing this season. She’s been playing catch-up in adjusting to playing with a bunch of veterans since Day One, but no one has wanted to improve more than her. And guess what happened last night? She went 2-for-2 and kicked in a pair of runs. Afterwards, she came up to Scott J. and I at the bar and let us know how much fun she had last night.
Last night was the Opening Round of the playoffs, and going into the game, I was pretty convinced that we were going to be in the “never reached our potential” camp. It’s not that our record was that bad in the regular season – we were 5-3, and the No. 6 seed out of 16 teams, and two of our losses were by one run – but it’s just that the majority of our wins were a lot harder than they needed to be, where we let inferior opponents hang around because we were unfocused and making a lot of dumb plays. Eventually, that’s what doomed us against Smurfageddon last week – we put ourselves in such a big hole, that even a huge last-inning rally wasn’t enough, when in truth we shouldn’t have needed to rally at all if we just played like we’re capable of playing.
I don’t want to use last night as an indication, because it was just one game, but…maybe I’m wrong, about my theory and about our team. Because I’ll be damned if we didn’t go out against a pretty good team (Mean Girls and Boys Next Door) and lay the hammer to them from the opening pitch on. The final score was 12-4, and it really could have been even more lopsided.
Without question, it was our best overall game of the season. Everyone, and I mean everyone, contributed. I believe we either scored in four of the five innings or in all five (Scott?) which means that the entire line-up was doing good things. And not just big kicks, but kicks that got people on base and moved runners over. All the little things that championship teams do but we had forgotten for most of the season.
I have to give a personal shout out to Julie P., who had to be arm-twisted by her brother Scott P. and her good friend Michael into playing this season. She’s been playing catch-up in adjusting to playing with a bunch of veterans since Day One, but no one has wanted to improve more than her. And guess what happened last night? She went 2-for-2 and kicked in a pair of runs. Afterwards, she came up to Scott J. and I at the bar and let us know how much fun she had last night.
And she’s right – last night was the most fun I had all season. And as much as I’d like to say that it had nothing to do with winning or losing, I know that’s a lie. Yes, I’ve had a lot of fun in games I’ve lost; and yes, I’ve won games and not had a lot of fun. But, as Chuck Klosterman said, if you are going to play a sport, winning is the logical thing to try and do. More importantly, I think we’ve finally “clicked” – there might be a few minor things to improve upon, but I think we’re right where we want to be.
It only took us eight games to get there.
(Side Note: Scott J. pointed this out to us last night - we are on the fifth season of kickball in the Studio Division, and there has only been one round of kickball play (regular season week or tournament round like Quarterfinals, Semifinals or Finals) that we haven't been involved in - the Championship Game of the first season. Since then, if there's a round of games being played, we've been involved (except for Wild Card round playoff games, since we've avoided those). We need two more wins to keep that alive this season.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
The Playoff Begin on Monday
Our last game of the regular season was Monday, against Smurfageddon. The winner took second place in our Conference for the regular season while the loser finished third. It was a very, very good game, probably the best I've played in or seen all season. We, being us this season, spotted them a 6-3 (I think?) lead going into the bottom of the fifth inning. We then managed to close the gap to 6-5 and load the bases with two outs and yours truly at the plate.
What happened next was the Grand Bull Moose Award winner of mixed blessings:
- I lined a single to left-center field, in front of their best defender.
- He almost fell while trying to field the ball (I put some spin on it, and it sliced away from him), which would have won the game.
- He kept his balance and his composure, and had the presence of mind to run to second base (none of his fielders were covering the base) and step on it about a quarter step before our runner from first could get there.
So, we lost 6-5, but the last play was basically what good kickball was all about - I did what I needed to do and our runner ran as fast as she possibly could; their fielder just made exactly the right play.
Final regular season record: 5-3, and the overall No. 6 seed (of 16 teams) for the playoffs. Since two of our three losses were by one run each, I actually think we can go very far this postseason IF (and this is turning out to be a big if) we can play with focus and intensity for five full innings. We seem to sleepwalk through the first three innings or so, believing that we can just "turn it on" when we need to. Sometimes we can, and sometimes (like on Monday) we can't.
We play The Mean Girls 'N' Boys Next Door on Monday at 8:05 p.m. in a rematch of one of those "flip the switch" games where we needed a late comeback to avoid losing to a team we're much better than. If I need to be more intense and focused myself to make sure the team is in the right frame of mind for the playoffs, so be it - I don't care if Kareenah thinks I'm "angry" when I play like that. We're too good not to go far in the playoffs this season.
What happened next was the Grand Bull Moose Award winner of mixed blessings:
- I lined a single to left-center field, in front of their best defender.
- He almost fell while trying to field the ball (I put some spin on it, and it sliced away from him), which would have won the game.
- He kept his balance and his composure, and had the presence of mind to run to second base (none of his fielders were covering the base) and step on it about a quarter step before our runner from first could get there.
So, we lost 6-5, but the last play was basically what good kickball was all about - I did what I needed to do and our runner ran as fast as she possibly could; their fielder just made exactly the right play.
Final regular season record: 5-3, and the overall No. 6 seed (of 16 teams) for the playoffs. Since two of our three losses were by one run each, I actually think we can go very far this postseason IF (and this is turning out to be a big if) we can play with focus and intensity for five full innings. We seem to sleepwalk through the first three innings or so, believing that we can just "turn it on" when we need to. Sometimes we can, and sometimes (like on Monday) we can't.
We play The Mean Girls 'N' Boys Next Door on Monday at 8:05 p.m. in a rematch of one of those "flip the switch" games where we needed a late comeback to avoid losing to a team we're much better than. If I need to be more intense and focused myself to make sure the team is in the right frame of mind for the playoffs, so be it - I don't care if Kareenah thinks I'm "angry" when I play like that. We're too good not to go far in the playoffs this season.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Don't Fill Up On Bread
There is a moment that happens at buffet restaurants. It's a turning point. See, at first buffets are nebulous experiences. You're assaulted with steak and pie and maybe Cap'n Crunch. This is a metaphor, usually nobody throws food at you. But like a food fight, it's coming at you from all angles and you've got to decide where to start. Pace yourself and try a little of everything just don't fill up on bread.
If you pace yourself too long you'll reach the paradox of being full yet unsatisfied. It's like you've made so many good friends with cornbread, pasta salad and mashed potatos but never found that deep connection with barbecue ribs. Your experience is incomplete.
The same thing happens on pub crawls or in Las Vegas when you keep saying, "Oh, I'm going to have a drink later." Before you know it, it's Sunday morning or the last Redline train is heading back to North Hollywood and sure, you saved a couple of bucks, but you never got to that make-an-ass-of-yourself-in-public point that makes the experience worthwhile.
You've got to locate the moment right before the enormous nature of the experience lulls you to sleep. That's where you end your sampling and moderation. Kick the opening act off the stage and get to the main event. You've got to stand on a bar stool and say, "I'm having a shot of Goldschlager AND a Pabst Blue Ribbon, RIGHT NOW! (please)". Then head out onto Hollywood Boulevard to make some questionable decisions because that is the recipe for a moment worth remembering.
Take that as you will.
If you pace yourself too long you'll reach the paradox of being full yet unsatisfied. It's like you've made so many good friends with cornbread, pasta salad and mashed potatos but never found that deep connection with barbecue ribs. Your experience is incomplete.
The same thing happens on pub crawls or in Las Vegas when you keep saying, "Oh, I'm going to have a drink later." Before you know it, it's Sunday morning or the last Redline train is heading back to North Hollywood and sure, you saved a couple of bucks, but you never got to that make-an-ass-of-yourself-in-public point that makes the experience worthwhile.
You've got to locate the moment right before the enormous nature of the experience lulls you to sleep. That's where you end your sampling and moderation. Kick the opening act off the stage and get to the main event. You've got to stand on a bar stool and say, "I'm having a shot of Goldschlager AND a Pabst Blue Ribbon, RIGHT NOW! (please)". Then head out onto Hollywood Boulevard to make some questionable decisions because that is the recipe for a moment worth remembering.
Take that as you will.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Being a Pussy
I have terrible manners. Several kickballers know this, even friends like "Smidty" from Hollywood's Little Lebowski's, Christian on Redrum or Kevin from Dogtown's Pregnant Cheerleaders.
Rarely, I'll go an entire game without even saying a negative word to a teammate. Last night, I didn't say much. Cameron and I quietly corrected a misapplied rule, otherwise nothing happened.
Then there was the 5th inning. We've already got a 3-0 lead and I made the questionable decision to run home after a caught pop fly caught 7 feet from where I was standing. The outfielder had subconsciously given me the "go ahead and run because I'm not going to do anything about it" look. So, I did and was called safe in a close play at the plate. No argument from the opposition. The next kicker comes up. First base ump whispers to home plate and I'm called out. A brief perplexed look and protest followed. Especially telling was that the opposition didn't fight for the new ruling and quietly accepted it.
After the game, I pointed out to the home plate ump that he rules home plate like the heroic ump signaling "safe" in the Norman Rockwell painting. He asked if I felt the first base ump "could not see the play from 60 feet away". I said I'd prefer to be judged from 5 inches away. Yes, the game's over and we won. Not the point.
Next, I learned what unconvincing hearsay I was called out on, "I said I THOUGHT it hit you." the 1st base ump said, then added, "I didn't know if it was before or after you touched the base though." He said he couldn't quite see where the base was. He WAS 60 feet away after all.
This isn't even "reasonable doubt" to overturn the call. This was reasonable doubt's retarded cousin "Unreasonable Belief". Nonsense.
So, naturally, instead of leaving the field with a "whatevs". I mumbled for the ump to fornicate himself. He returned the wishes. I told him to perform the act with extra enthusiasm on himself, which he advised me I would probably enjoy too much. I lobbed the whimsical suggestion of using his face and an icicle. He chose to end the discussion.
Towards the end of the exchange, I obviously realized I was being a douche and hinted at that with increasingly ludicrous ideas. Naturally I felt bad but enjoyed the creative exercise of taking insults into unusual territory. My opinion on the non-ruling is pretty solid but my behavior needs adjusting. I took the first opportunity at the bar to tell the ump "I have terrible manners. You're a good guy. I'm sorry, it's just what I do." Now, I'm not resigned to the way I act or always proud of it but I do like having a little fire and passion. Listen, if the ship's sinking, you'd want me on the crew. I'll never lose that but I'm always trying to apply it more positively. It'll take a lifetime but I think I'm getting better.
Rarely, I'll go an entire game without even saying a negative word to a teammate. Last night, I didn't say much. Cameron and I quietly corrected a misapplied rule, otherwise nothing happened.
Then there was the 5th inning. We've already got a 3-0 lead and I made the questionable decision to run home after a caught pop fly caught 7 feet from where I was standing. The outfielder had subconsciously given me the "go ahead and run because I'm not going to do anything about it" look. So, I did and was called safe in a close play at the plate. No argument from the opposition. The next kicker comes up. First base ump whispers to home plate and I'm called out. A brief perplexed look and protest followed. Especially telling was that the opposition didn't fight for the new ruling and quietly accepted it.
After the game, I pointed out to the home plate ump that he rules home plate like the heroic ump signaling "safe" in the Norman Rockwell painting. He asked if I felt the first base ump "could not see the play from 60 feet away". I said I'd prefer to be judged from 5 inches away. Yes, the game's over and we won. Not the point.
Next, I learned what unconvincing hearsay I was called out on, "I said I THOUGHT it hit you." the 1st base ump said, then added, "I didn't know if it was before or after you touched the base though." He said he couldn't quite see where the base was. He WAS 60 feet away after all.
This isn't even "reasonable doubt" to overturn the call. This was reasonable doubt's retarded cousin "Unreasonable Belief". Nonsense.
So, naturally, instead of leaving the field with a "whatevs". I mumbled for the ump to fornicate himself. He returned the wishes. I told him to perform the act with extra enthusiasm on himself, which he advised me I would probably enjoy too much. I lobbed the whimsical suggestion of using his face and an icicle. He chose to end the discussion.
Towards the end of the exchange, I obviously realized I was being a douche and hinted at that with increasingly ludicrous ideas. Naturally I felt bad but enjoyed the creative exercise of taking insults into unusual territory. My opinion on the non-ruling is pretty solid but my behavior needs adjusting. I took the first opportunity at the bar to tell the ump "I have terrible manners. You're a good guy. I'm sorry, it's just what I do." Now, I'm not resigned to the way I act or always proud of it but I do like having a little fire and passion. Listen, if the ship's sinking, you'd want me on the crew. I'll never lose that but I'm always trying to apply it more positively. It'll take a lifetime but I think I'm getting better.
Game 7 vs. Hype
Everyone played really well. There wasn't much to say. But i'll try anyway.
We opened up a 1 to 0 lead in the first on some fancy base running by myself and Adam J. I kicked a single, just over the head of the 1st baseman (what we were practicing in...well, in practice) and while they were diddling themselves with the ball, I ran to 2nd before they threw it back to the pitcher. Horray!
Adam J. ran the bases well, and frigg'n booked to home. I forget which kick it was on, but he caught 'em not looking.
Hype had good defense and got on base a few times, but never took advantage. They are an athletic team that really needs someone that can drive the ball far to bring in runs.
Cameron kicked a great line drive that was caught by fingertips at a girl's feet. He was bummed.
Tyler kicked a MONSTER fly ball, that was also caught by the same girl. He was bummed.
Scott kicked a ball, that I don't think he realized he kicked. It went fair, and he booked to 1st. Later on, he was also sneaky, and while on 3rd base, took advantage of a Hype player whose back was turned and he slid into home. He was totally safe. The ump at home thought he was safe, but the 1st base umpire said he "saw it hit him". Needless to say, it was kind of B.S. And well, ask Scott about it. Lets just say the words "fuck you harder" were said. And maybe "fuck you with an icicle".
Oh, Adam G. and Joe turned a double play to end the game, that was totally NOT a bummer.
We opened up a 1 to 0 lead in the first on some fancy base running by myself and Adam J. I kicked a single, just over the head of the 1st baseman (what we were practicing in...well, in practice) and while they were diddling themselves with the ball, I ran to 2nd before they threw it back to the pitcher. Horray!
Adam J. ran the bases well, and frigg'n booked to home. I forget which kick it was on, but he caught 'em not looking.
Hype had good defense and got on base a few times, but never took advantage. They are an athletic team that really needs someone that can drive the ball far to bring in runs.
Cameron kicked a great line drive that was caught by fingertips at a girl's feet. He was bummed.
Tyler kicked a MONSTER fly ball, that was also caught by the same girl. He was bummed.
Scott kicked a ball, that I don't think he realized he kicked. It went fair, and he booked to 1st. Later on, he was also sneaky, and while on 3rd base, took advantage of a Hype player whose back was turned and he slid into home. He was totally safe. The ump at home thought he was safe, but the 1st base umpire said he "saw it hit him". Needless to say, it was kind of B.S. And well, ask Scott about it. Lets just say the words "fuck you harder" were said. And maybe "fuck you with an icicle".
Oh, Adam G. and Joe turned a double play to end the game, that was totally NOT a bummer.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Week 6 Game: AHN vs. MGBND
On Monday, we played a team called the Mean Girls 'n Boys Next Door. I'm a big proponent for calling a team what they are named. I get my knickers in a twist when we're referred to as "the ninjas". Oh, also, there is a guy on Uno Mas who ALWAYS asks me "What team are you on?" and I ALWAYS say "Awesome Helicopter Ninjas" and he says "I thought you were just 'the Ninjas' " and...well, on and on.
ANYWAY, so yeah, we played the Mean Girls 'n Boys Next Door. They are one of those teams that play better than you think they will play. Good kickers. Good base runners. Good defense. We beat 'em, but it was in the bottom of the 5th, when we were down 3-2. We managed to load up the bases on great kicks by Scott P., Adam G, Megan and Joe. Someone else too. Joe ended up kicking in the winning run, so big "ups" to Joe.
But this is about ME! So, fuck you, Joe. I had the idea that we all play the first inning blind folded. This idea was probably very very...very poor, you know...in embryo, so it was nixed. So I convinced Scott to let me pitch the first inning blind folded. That is called 'compromise'. Look it up.
Yeah, it didn't go so well. Well, it didn't go BAD, it was just a pain and slowed things down. In hindsight...I should have kicked blind folded as well. But you know, hindsight. I think the problem we've had this season is that we've been wanting to do a lot of shenanigans, but keep getting bogged down by winning the game. Or at least, get put into a position early on where we're down, so our heads are not about the stupid, but about the kickball. I know, weird.
We also had some bad overthrowing mistakes. That seems to be the theme of this season. Forget the Rise of the Machines. It's 'Awesome Helicopter Ninjas and the Overthrowing of Azkaban'.
Stupid...dementors.
Also, Jack and I umped the next game: Redrum vs. Trey Stafford Explosion, and a girl got a ball to the face. And that was fun. First one I've seen all season. Horray!
Next week we play "Hype" and I know jack about crap about them.
ANYWAY, so yeah, we played the Mean Girls 'n Boys Next Door. They are one of those teams that play better than you think they will play. Good kickers. Good base runners. Good defense. We beat 'em, but it was in the bottom of the 5th, when we were down 3-2. We managed to load up the bases on great kicks by Scott P., Adam G, Megan and Joe. Someone else too. Joe ended up kicking in the winning run, so big "ups" to Joe.
But this is about ME! So, fuck you, Joe. I had the idea that we all play the first inning blind folded. This idea was probably very very...very poor, you know...in embryo, so it was nixed. So I convinced Scott to let me pitch the first inning blind folded. That is called 'compromise'. Look it up.
Yeah, it didn't go so well. Well, it didn't go BAD, it was just a pain and slowed things down. In hindsight...I should have kicked blind folded as well. But you know, hindsight. I think the problem we've had this season is that we've been wanting to do a lot of shenanigans, but keep getting bogged down by winning the game. Or at least, get put into a position early on where we're down, so our heads are not about the stupid, but about the kickball. I know, weird.
We also had some bad overthrowing mistakes. That seems to be the theme of this season. Forget the Rise of the Machines. It's 'Awesome Helicopter Ninjas and the Overthrowing of Azkaban'.
Stupid...dementors.
Also, Jack and I umped the next game: Redrum vs. Trey Stafford Explosion, and a girl got a ball to the face. And that was fun. First one I've seen all season. Horray!
Next week we play "Hype" and I know jack about crap about them.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
WAKA $TREET KID
Ha, Richard! I got here first!
Methinks it may cut a little to close to the bone for WAKA's liking. But you know, if they say "yeah, we don't want to put that in there" they should remember that because this is a social activity, we are friends with oh, EVERYONE.
This image was just about 100% Richard. I just cobbled it together for the Studio Newsletter. Why am I posting it here? Well, lets just say there may be a chance that WAKA brass may "frown" upon it.
Ok, a little backstory: Once upon a time, I decided to write the newsletter, then went all crazy, and turned each into a magazine of sorts. This lastest one was Electronic Kicking Monthly (I think I mentioned it in an earlier post, but I digress) and was video game themed. Richard, was all "have you ever heard of Wall Street Kid, also, lick my nuts". And I said "No.", to both. The end result was this. A fake advert for a shitty video game...
(Editor's Note: Click to see full-sized version)
(Editor's Note: Click to see full-sized version)
Monday, April 02, 2007
No Game Tonight
It's Seder, so happy Seder to all of the Ninjas' Jewish friends. This means that we don't have an official game, although the Gentiles amongst us will be practicing at the park and probably working on some other stuff.
To hold you over, here's an appearance by Scott on NoHo Tonight (I think it's either a cable access show, or something on The CW) last week in advance of our game against Redrum. As you can see, the tips didn't help.
At any rate, watch and enjoy!
To hold you over, here's an appearance by Scott on NoHo Tonight (I think it's either a cable access show, or something on The CW) last week in advance of our game against Redrum. As you can see, the tips didn't help.
At any rate, watch and enjoy!
Friday, March 30, 2007
EKM: Preview
As you know, I do the newsletter for the division. By do, I mean have vigorous sex with, then send out to the 300 plus people as sloppy...I guess seconds through threehundreds.
Each week this season we've done a different themed "magazine" of sorts. We had "Kick Fancy", "Cosmoballitan", "Kicks & Ammo" and "Martha Stewart Kicking". They take a whole lot of time. Usually while i'm working, so that's cool.
BECAUSE I love the Ninjas more than anything (sorry Mommy), I'm giving you (yes YOU) the Awesome Helicopter Ninja Blog reader a small sample of what will be in the next issue.
Under the "Classic Gaming Section"
Spitzy Kong:
"There are some games that are such a part of Studio gaming culture, that you can't help but associate the two. Certainly Super Manfredi Bros., Tecmo Kickball and Alex Kidd in Shirley's World are some of the standouts from the early days of console video games. But none are as iconic as Nintendo's Spitzy Kong. Its a classic tale. Spitzy Kong kidnaps the fair maiden, bartender Saana, as Scotty Jones tries to rescue her. Along the way, he dodges kickballs hurled by the beast, making his way up the crooked iron scaffolding to sweep her to safety.
What sets this game apart is it's endless game play. We never get tired of hearing of the constant battles between Spitzy Kong and Scotty Jones. Over and over. And OVER and OVER. To the point where you almost don't want to think about these two characters. But you keep coming back for more. Will Scotty flip the bird to Spitzy at the top of the ramp? Will he grab the ninja swords and cut the deadly balls down? Or will Spitzy knock the crap out of Scotty with his fearsome rage? You don't know. I don't know. All I do know is that this game is much better than Spitzy Kong Jr. "
Each week this season we've done a different themed "magazine" of sorts. We had "Kick Fancy", "Cosmoballitan", "Kicks & Ammo" and "Martha Stewart Kicking". They take a whole lot of time. Usually while i'm working, so that's cool.
BECAUSE I love the Ninjas more than anything (sorry Mommy), I'm giving you (yes YOU) the Awesome Helicopter Ninja Blog reader a small sample of what will be in the next issue.
Under the "Classic Gaming Section"
Spitzy Kong:
"There are some games that are such a part of Studio gaming culture, that you can't help but associate the two. Certainly Super Manfredi Bros., Tecmo Kickball and Alex Kidd in Shirley's World are some of the standouts from the early days of console video games. But none are as iconic as Nintendo's Spitzy Kong. Its a classic tale. Spitzy Kong kidnaps the fair maiden, bartender Saana, as Scotty Jones tries to rescue her. Along the way, he dodges kickballs hurled by the beast, making his way up the crooked iron scaffolding to sweep her to safety.
What sets this game apart is it's endless game play. We never get tired of hearing of the constant battles between Spitzy Kong and Scotty Jones. Over and over. And OVER and OVER. To the point where you almost don't want to think about these two characters. But you keep coming back for more. Will Scotty flip the bird to Spitzy at the top of the ramp? Will he grab the ninja swords and cut the deadly balls down? Or will Spitzy knock the crap out of Scotty with his fearsome rage? You don't know. I don't know. All I do know is that this game is much better than Spitzy Kong Jr. "
Thursday, March 29, 2007
"...by the Awesome Helicopter Ninjas."
Tyler Granlund: Valley Girl. Mustache Contest Winner. Flip-cup Champion. Friend of the Ninjas.
He sent me this article he found today, from Entertainment Weekly.
Since its kinda hard to read, here is what the "Backstory" thing says on the bottom right:
"Last year, CSI's Jorja Fox and Eric Szmanda (above) were teammates on an Adult Kickball League team called the Royal Blue Balls. How did the actors fare on the court? So-so: The Balls were eliminated from competition in the semifinals. "
The article should have ended with "...by the Awesome Helicopter Ninjas, who went on to wint he championship that season, even though their season was even soer-so that the Balls."
Well, I can't wait till we play them on the "court" again. Hopefully, the end score can be 40-Love. Or I can perform a slam-dunk through the goal posts to Birdie the last hole.
Things Announcers Would Say if The Awesome Helicopter Ninjas Were In The NCAA Basketball Tournament Instead Of Kickball
"Well, I think Georgetown's 7'2" center Roy Hibbert would definitely have posed a challenge for the Ninjas down low. But, of course, we all have certainly by now heard of how his Achilles' tendon was mysteriously slashed by an unknown assailant on the way to the arena tonight."
-----------------
"North Carolina needs a three to tie. Martin gets it in the corner and fires a shot that is...wait, the ball popped in midair! It appears to have been shot down by...some sort of a blow dart."
-----------------
"Now watch this: Winfield is going to set a screen...I'm mean, it's a smoke screen, so I guess that's what you would call it. At any rate, the Kansas defenders can't find the ball in the confusion, and Love-Smith goes in uncontested for the easy lay-up."
"I think that has to be called a "Moving Screen", Jim."
-----------------
"Oh my God, is Scott Jones humping the UCLA Bruin mascot?!?"
-----------------
"Well, this is an interesting offense set: the Ninjas appear to be...maybe...YES! They are stacking themselves one on top of each other! I've never seen this before, Billy!"
"It's like they are chicken fighting, John."
"I think that's Cameron Davis on the top of this mass of Ninjas. He has the ball, and he must be 15 feet off the ground. He's got it...and it's a double somersault, 1080 spin slam dunk!!!"
-----------------
"This is incredible! You saw a few minutes ago that both teams mysteriously walked off the court with 10 minutes to go in the half. Now, only the Ninjas have returned, and they are scoring uncontested basket after basket! Let's go to Erin Andrews on the sidelines to find out what in the world is happening."
"Thanks, Dick. Apparently, at the last TV timeout, the Ninjas convinced the Blue Devils that the half was over. Apparently, they made a compelling case that the NCAA decided to have halves be 10 minutes long instead of 20 'to conserve energy as a way to fight global warming.' The Blue Devils have realized that they've been tricked, but the Ninjas weld all of the doors in the locker room shut before returning to the court."
-----------------
"Is that...does that bottle on the Ninjas bench say 'FLUBBER'?"
-----------------
"The Ninjas have promised an entrance for the championship games that, in their words, 'knocks the cock off' of anything they've done before. And here they come now, The Awesome Helicop...Oh My Mord, No! No ! No, no, no!"
"Oh, this is terrible..."
"I can't believe what I'm seeing. This is just..."
"Wow!"
-----------------
"North Carolina needs a three to tie. Martin gets it in the corner and fires a shot that is...wait, the ball popped in midair! It appears to have been shot down by...some sort of a blow dart."
-----------------
"Now watch this: Winfield is going to set a screen...I'm mean, it's a smoke screen, so I guess that's what you would call it. At any rate, the Kansas defenders can't find the ball in the confusion, and Love-Smith goes in uncontested for the easy lay-up."
"I think that has to be called a "Moving Screen", Jim."
-----------------
"Oh my God, is Scott Jones humping the UCLA Bruin mascot?!?"
-----------------
"Well, this is an interesting offense set: the Ninjas appear to be...maybe...YES! They are stacking themselves one on top of each other! I've never seen this before, Billy!"
"It's like they are chicken fighting, John."
"I think that's Cameron Davis on the top of this mass of Ninjas. He has the ball, and he must be 15 feet off the ground. He's got it...and it's a double somersault, 1080 spin slam dunk!!!"
-----------------
"This is incredible! You saw a few minutes ago that both teams mysteriously walked off the court with 10 minutes to go in the half. Now, only the Ninjas have returned, and they are scoring uncontested basket after basket! Let's go to Erin Andrews on the sidelines to find out what in the world is happening."
"Thanks, Dick. Apparently, at the last TV timeout, the Ninjas convinced the Blue Devils that the half was over. Apparently, they made a compelling case that the NCAA decided to have halves be 10 minutes long instead of 20 'to conserve energy as a way to fight global warming.' The Blue Devils have realized that they've been tricked, but the Ninjas weld all of the doors in the locker room shut before returning to the court."
-----------------
"Is that...does that bottle on the Ninjas bench say 'FLUBBER'?"
-----------------
"The Ninjas have promised an entrance for the championship games that, in their words, 'knocks the cock off' of anything they've done before. And here they come now, The Awesome Helicop...Oh My Mord, No! No ! No, no, no!"
"Oh, this is terrible..."
"I can't believe what I'm seeing. This is just..."
"Wow!"
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
A pyrotechnics flash gun
Is it dangerous? Well, it shoots flames out of your hands 10 to 15 feet in the air. Do I want one? Sweet Christ, do I! If I buy one, then I need some sort of speaker system hooked up to me so that I can play "The Final Countdown" anytime I need to.
I could also have billows of smoke coming out of my hands, but why settle for ground beef when you can have fillet, right?
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