Scene: In the bleachers during the All-Star game following the Championships. VGs captain Tyler G. is carrying the Championship Trophy around everywhere he goes, beaming like a kid at Christmas, as he captains one of the two teams. Sitting in the bleachers are me and Ashley.
Me: I'm going to steal that trophy.
Ashley: No way. Tyler won't let it out of his sights for a second.
Me: Yes he will. And I'll be ready.
And that's just what happened. Because I'm a Ninja, and if I can't win the trophy fair and square...I have no problem stealing it. In fact, treasure earned is not really as cool as treasure stolen.
Flash forward to later in the evening at the bar. 90 percent of the Valley Girls are enraptured by this magician who had been at the bar the week before. (Apparently, he is doing a show at the Lodge on a different night, and shows up to "wow" people and drum up interest.) It's pretty standard up-close magic stuff, although well-done. And he's a pretty standard up-close magician, right now to the mulleted hair and the faint whiff of desperation.
But I digress. Most of the other players go apeshit whenever they see him. Like, literally start acting like he's five and you just pulled a quarter about from behind their ear. He's making a quarter smoke, or some nonsense like that, and everyone is gathered around the table in total focus on him. Meanwhile, the trophy is sitting all by itself on a table in the corner.
Opportunity taken.
I swoop down from my table, pick up the trophy and just walk out with it. No one noticed I had. Not even Tyler and his girlfriend Kelley, who were sitting outside right next to the door. They were so busy telling some story about who knows what, that they never noticed me walking out the door and to the car with their trophy.
Who is the magician now?
The trophy stayed in my car for about 30 minutes, until someone realized the trophy was missing and all hell broke loose. Tyler immediately came over to Michael and I and asked "if we knew anything about a missing trophy". Michael said no, because legitimately he didn't; I said no because I'm a filthy liar. All I heard from Tyler for the next few minutes was him going from person to person in the bar, with a pissed off look in his face, muttering "someone's trying to be funny, and it's not funny..." Which is where Tyler is wrong, because it was VERY funny. Especially since he specifically has a history of hiding personal items from people at bars that mean a lot of certain...well, I don't need to get into details. But it would have been funny to steal their trophy anyway, but the fact that it was a bit of turnaround being fair play made it even more delicious.
After letting him stew and panic for a few minutes, I went out to my car and brought the trophy back. All I could say was "Of course I took it; I'm a Ninja. You worked so hard for this trophy - take better care of it."
Tyler spent the rest of the night hugging the trophy like a baby and eyeing me while hiding his wallet. Lesson learned.
Me: I'm going to steal that trophy.
Ashley: No way. Tyler won't let it out of his sights for a second.
Me: Yes he will. And I'll be ready.
And that's just what happened. Because I'm a Ninja, and if I can't win the trophy fair and square...I have no problem stealing it. In fact, treasure earned is not really as cool as treasure stolen.
Flash forward to later in the evening at the bar. 90 percent of the Valley Girls are enraptured by this magician who had been at the bar the week before. (Apparently, he is doing a show at the Lodge on a different night, and shows up to "wow" people and drum up interest.) It's pretty standard up-close magic stuff, although well-done. And he's a pretty standard up-close magician, right now to the mulleted hair and the faint whiff of desperation.
But I digress. Most of the other players go apeshit whenever they see him. Like, literally start acting like he's five and you just pulled a quarter about from behind their ear. He's making a quarter smoke, or some nonsense like that, and everyone is gathered around the table in total focus on him. Meanwhile, the trophy is sitting all by itself on a table in the corner.
Opportunity taken.
I swoop down from my table, pick up the trophy and just walk out with it. No one noticed I had. Not even Tyler and his girlfriend Kelley, who were sitting outside right next to the door. They were so busy telling some story about who knows what, that they never noticed me walking out the door and to the car with their trophy.
Who is the magician now?
The trophy stayed in my car for about 30 minutes, until someone realized the trophy was missing and all hell broke loose. Tyler immediately came over to Michael and I and asked "if we knew anything about a missing trophy". Michael said no, because legitimately he didn't; I said no because I'm a filthy liar. All I heard from Tyler for the next few minutes was him going from person to person in the bar, with a pissed off look in his face, muttering "someone's trying to be funny, and it's not funny..." Which is where Tyler is wrong, because it was VERY funny. Especially since he specifically has a history of hiding personal items from people at bars that mean a lot of certain...well, I don't need to get into details. But it would have been funny to steal their trophy anyway, but the fact that it was a bit of turnaround being fair play made it even more delicious.
After letting him stew and panic for a few minutes, I went out to my car and brought the trophy back. All I could say was "Of course I took it; I'm a Ninja. You worked so hard for this trophy - take better care of it."
Tyler spent the rest of the night hugging the trophy like a baby and eyeing me while hiding his wallet. Lesson learned.
1 comment:
The irony is that Kelley stole my hooded sweatshirt a while back. Touching my stuff severely pisses me off so my first thought was to steal their car, as they finally gave me their keys to get the shirt back. Good taste won and I did not steal a car. Anyway, I see why they'd get angry but I also appreciate the irony.
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